Concrete Charlie

I've worked on hundreds of building sites around Boston, it's hard work but it keeps me fit. It's not the same now though, too much Health and bloody Safety. I was chucked off one building site for not wearing a "high visibility jacket". Well, if I was so invisible, how come 15 people correctly identified me as the person who threw a brick at the gaffers BMW afterwards?
A few years ago on one site I chopped my finger off', I phones the missus from the hospital to tell her, "Oh my God!" she said, "The whole finger?" "No," I said, "The one next to it."
There used to be a lot of Irish labourers years ago, they were very funny. One came for a job once as an odd-job man. The foreman asked him what he could do. "I can do anything," said the Irishman. "Can you make tea?" says the foreman. "Jesus, yes," replied the Irishman. "I can make a great cup of tea." "Can you drive a forklift?" asked the foreman. "Mother of God!" replied the Irishman. "How big is the fecking teapot?"
Another Paddy walked onto the site and asked the gaffer for a job. The boss replied, "Alright, you can fetch me a wheelbarrow, right away. "Paddy walked off and five minutes later came back pushing a wheelbarrow with another wheelbarrow inside. The boss said, "Why have you brought two back I only needed one?" "Well, you never expected me to carry the fecking thing did ya!" Paddy replied.
Later on Paddy and his mate Mick are on the site laying bricks when disaster strikes and a ton of bricks falls on Paddy's head, Mick helps him up and he is unhurt except one of his ears is missing. After a 10 minute search Mick finds a bloody ear "here it is" shouts Mick.
Paddy replys "oh feck no Micky mine had a pencil behind it sure."
Them days is gone, all bloody Polish workers and Health and Safety now.