Pat Butcher

Hello, I'm your local meat provider, Boston born and bred. I'm married and I've got a couple of kids. The wife's name's Patricia and just for a laugh whenever I introduce her I say,"Meet Pattie". I had a sale on last week, 2 rump steaks for £5, a bloke walks in and says, "How much is one?","One is £3.50" I said.
"OK", said the bloke "I'll have the other one".
I got him back though 'cause he said, "Have you got any wild ducks?" "No," I said, "but I've got one that gets pretty pissed off when I poke it with a stick."
I was going to have a meat raffle in the shop and was discussing it with one of my old pensioner customers and she told me not to bother 'cause she entered one once and didn't win a sausage, bless her.
Then I thought I'd start selling horse meat like them foreigners eat, thought I'll try it myself first to see what it's like, didn't like it though, it gave me the trots!!
Lionel Richie walked into my shop the other day, I said 'Hello, is it meat your looking for?'
No, I'm just joking, I'm a compulsive liar and love chopping up dead cows.